Look at a list of presidents and their accompanying portraits. They're really a boring set of people. All white. All men. And most importantly- for the past almost 100 years- all clean shaven. Now what is that? The last mustached president, Billy Taft, was elected in 1909. That's almost a hundred years. That last BEARDED president, was 20 years before that. Benjamin Harrison. What I'm saying is, we went the entire 20th century without a beard in the White House.
What is it that makes presidential candidates not grow beards? Bill Richardson, the illegal immigrant Democrat ran on a platform of experience and beardlessness. And now that he's dropped out- He's for change and he's grown a beard. And it's a pretty fucking awesome beard. Now why didn't he grow this thing while he was running? He looks a lot more presidential... Though, it could also be argued that he resembles a fatty version of Che.
Why are the American people so turned off by the beard? Does it show an unwillingness to be clean and orderly? But a well-groomed beard is much harder to keep up than getting up and just shaving every morning.
So, American people, this is an intervention. You are willing to elect a woman (Hillary Clinton), a black man (Barack Obama), and even a zombie (John McCain). You need to stop this facial hair-ism. Show some respect to the bearded Americans, because their time has come again.
Wolf Blitzer '08.
AMENDMENT: And whatever happened to the powdered wig? When's that making a comeback?
1 comment:
The correct word is mustachioed and I for one, am very much in support of Hillary Clinton growing a beard. Not only would I vote for her, but I would go to war for a bearded Hillary Clinton.
Post a Comment